friends

Anyone that has any kind of contact with me, be it personal or virtual, probably knows I’ve just had my wisdom teeth out – and that’s because I won’t shut up about it. I constantly talk about how it went, how I felt and how I feel now. I give my poor flatmates regular updates on the state of the inside of my mouth, and the fact that whilst I slept through Saturday night no problem, I was up at 5am in pain on the Sunday night, and about how the stitches have started to come loose.

Now, I’m not so socially inept that I haven’t noticed, amongst the oodles of compassion, the eye-rolls or looks of ‘will this bitch shut up about her teeth already’. But, you know what, I’ll shut up about it when I’m good and ready to shut up about it. Continue reading →

Image by David Davies / CC BY-SA 2.0

There is always one. One chump who turns up just before mid-night, pissed as a fart, barely able to stand up, who begins commandeering the iPod with his/her own poorly edited electro-reggae-fusion-megga-mix, insists that everyone do shots from Jim’s belly button and then subsequently pukes in a location only to be disturbingly discovered several weeks later. Usually under the guise of ‘party animal’ this tosser successfully manages to ruin what was shaping up to, probably, be one of your best New Year’s parties yet.

Unfortunately it is an inevitability when you combine booze and holiday cheer with a heady dose of that NYE party pressure, that something is going to snap. So, in an attempt to save us all the embarrassment, and cleaning fees, here are some good rules to abide by to avoid starting 2015 sending out hundreds of apology texts (that is, if you haven’t lost/broken your phone in the course of the night). Continue reading →