Opinion

Boats & Hoes

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RYA Suzuki Dinghy Show

RYA Suzuki Dinghy Show

Last weekend I went to the Royal Yachting Association (RYA) Suzuki Dinghy Show.

Why, you ask?

Well, I’m not entirely sure.

As a kid we used to spend many a summer holiday on the Norfolk Broads mucking around on our friends’ boats (is the most middle-class sentence I’ve ever written).  And back in the life crisis mental breakdown of 2013, I decided to reignite my love for the water (is the second most middle-class sentence I’ve ever written) and do a RYA sailing course.

But this is 2015 and I’ve got the need for speed. Continue reading →

Chicken shop chic

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Image by Mikey / CC BY-SA 2.0

Image by Mikey / CC BY-SA 2.0

There are certain people in this world who could pop a turd in their top pocket and in a week’s time half the population would be walking around with soiled shirts.  These people are what we call “cool”.  They are the moustache bearing, man-bun sporting, pointy finger nail wearing, large spec, scarf toting trend setters, and I’m pissed off with them.  Pissed off because they keep bloody taking shit that us “non-coolies” like and making it cool – thus inevitably ruining it.  And when the next big thing comes along they toss it from their crib like a petulant child in “vintage” doc martins, returning it to us plebs cracked, broken and twice as expensive.

In this particular case the subject of my pissed-off-ish-ness is chicken, primarily of the fried variety.  Continue reading →

Paris vs Nigeria: way to one-up me bro

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IMG_2209

Last week the world was left reeling after two gunmen entered the premises of the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo and opened fire in an act of terror, killing 11.  But hold on, no time to retweet the latest story we’ve got another tragedy on our hands that needs your attention.  Over in Nigeria ‘too many bodies to count’ lie dead and discarded as a result of an Islamic extremist attack, and only days later two child suicide bombers launched an attack on an open-air market in Potiskum killing and injuring even more innocent bystanders.

Two horrific and unjustified acts of terror in their own right.  But what amazed me, beyond the utterly harrowing nature of these atrocities, were peoples’ reactions, or rather, transitions from one event to the next. Continue reading →

15 tips for not being a tosser at a New Year’s Eve house party

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There is always one.  One chump who turns up just before mid-night, pissed as a fart, barely able to stand up, who begins commandeering the iPod with his/her own poorly edited electro-reggae-fusion-megga-mix, insists that everyone do shots from Jim’s belly button and then subsequently pukes in a location only to be disturbingly discovered several weeks later.  Usually under the guise of ‘party animal’ this tosser successfully manages to ruin what was shaping up to, probably, be one of your best New Year’s parties yet.

Unfortunately it is an inevitability when you combine booze and holiday cheer with a heady dose of that NYE party pressure, that something is going to snap.  So, in an attempt to save us all the embarrassment, and cleaning fees, here are some good rules to abide by to avoid starting 2015 sending out hundreds of apology texts (that is, if you haven’t lost/broken your phone in the course of the night). Continue reading →