The internet is stuffed to the gills with listicles like ‘what kind of drunk are you?’, ‘the seven stages of drunkenness’, ‘fifteen types of drunk you’ll encounter in fresher’s week’, and if you’ve read as many of them as I have, chances are you’re a hot medley of nearly all of them.
As I sit here at my computer, sweating out my frost bite and sweeping flecks of dried skin that have fallen off my face onto the floor, I can’t help but think that January ain’t nothing but a big bag of dicks. (In this context the bag of dicks is a bad thing.) Continue reading
With the world reeling from several global tragedies and people taking to social media to express their disbelief, support, solidarity, sympathy and myriad other emotions and sentiments, the phrase ‘do you boo boo’ has never echoed more loudly.
Anyone that has any kind of contact with me, be it personal or virtual, probably knows I’ve just had my wisdom teeth out – and that’s because I won’t shut up about it. I constantly talk about how it went, how I felt and how I feel now. I give my poor flatmates regular updates on the state of the inside of my mouth, and the fact that whilst I slept through Saturday night no problem, I was up at 5am in pain on the Sunday night, and about how the stitches have started to come loose.
Now, I’m not so socially inept that I haven’t noticed, amongst the oodles of compassion, the eye-rolls or looks of ‘will this bitch shut up about her teeth already’. But, you know what, I’ll shut up about it when I’m good and ready to shut up about it. Continue reading
Shirl had never been in love before. It’s not like there hadn’t been any other men – there had been Graham James with the perpetual limp, Stuart Cobbs who ran the local Indian takeout ‘Cobbs Corma’, syphilitic Gary and various others – but Shirl never felt she could truly love a person who had had syphilis and didn’t tell her straight away. Those men had been little more than moments in her life. Continue reading
It all began in the early 2000’s. Lording over the plebs with my far superior vocabulary, I began to introduce LOL into my vernacular as a means to satirise, and ultimately mock, those who “genuinely” used it. A few months down the line however, and all sense of irony was lost. Amongst my day to day language LOL’s kept involuntarily surging forth, like that little bit of puke you choke back down after a shot of Sambuca. It became habit to suffix a half-hearted chortle with a LOL just to reassure those around me that I had indeed found something humorous. The act of laughing was now not enough.
Two varieties of pork dumpling from La Mian, Greenwich Market
It all began one fateful summer’s afternoon as my friend and I traversed London’s sun-drenched South Bank. I was hungover, hungry and happy to be lead, so when my companion suggested we pop into Ping Pong to gorge on some dim sum I was delighted to oblige. Continue reading
Last weekend I had the absolute honour of cheering on my mate as she ran the grueling 26.2 miles of the Brighton Marathon. Having already watched this beautiful woman (and two other gorgeous friends) run a 5k for Cancer Research early last year, I was some way aware of the ebullient emotions these kinds of events can arouse. But nothing could have prepared me for how moved and utterly humbled I would be cheering on the side-lines of the 2015 Brighton Marathon.
Maritime Greenwich is awash with a fascinating history and rustic charm that makes it feel a world away, despite being just across the river from the business district of Canary Wharf and few miles from the City. From cocktails to international cuisine and the Cutty Sark, here’s why I love Greenwich, and why you should too.
You haven’t lived till you’ve had a caipirinha in Brazil. Image by CristinaPessini / CC BY-SA 2.0
The sunny shores of Brazil are where elasticated waistbands were made to be used and abused. Fresh, fried and hearty, Brazilian grub is a veritable feast of sumptuous treats and mouth-watering tipples. So here’s a rundown of the most iconic and downright delicious dishes and drinks you’ll come across in this South American stunner. Continue reading
Generation Fishcake 