Germany is a country well known for its hearty grub and delicious beer, and whilst there is a very sophisticated culinary scene here, for me it was all about getting my mitts on those iconic dishes.  It made sense then, to spend my days in the remarkable city of Berlin touring the sites and dining at pretty much every food kiosk I could find.

Currywurst was a particularly enjoyable feast.  Basically sausage sprinkled with curry powder and doused in sauce there are no pretentions here, it’s meat + flavour and it’s delicious.

Berlin’s foodie culture also has a rich Turkish influence which has brought a plethora of unbeatable kebab shops to the city.  Seriously, I had one of these bad boys everyday on my trip.  Knocking your late Friday night/early hours of Saturday morning, post drinks greasy meat feast clean off the scale, these kebabs are mouth-watering pockets of succulent meat, fresh salad and oozings of creamy sauce (garlic is by far the best, not ideal for your travelling companions though, unless they too are having garlic sauce).   One restaurant even added a touch of freshly squeezed lemon juice to mine.  Very classy.

Aside from the sausages, sauces and rotating cones of meat one German delicacy I couldn’t wait to get my chops on was schnitzel.  Schnitzel is a thin fillet of meat, tenderised and fried in bread crumbs.  It can be made using veal, mutton, chicken, turkey or beef but pork seems to be the meat of choice for many Germans.  I won’t lie to you, a massive part of the reason I wanted to try schnitzel was its name, not only is it fun to say but it feels so quintessentially Deutsche.  Money was tight so my friend and I opted for a frozen pork schnitzel.  When, however, we broke this news to our German friend he flew into an outrage.  Most German’s will have childhood memories of schnitzel gently cooking on the fryer, so it was an utter disgrace in his eyes that my first taste of this iconic German dish should be of the frozen variety.  A few steins later it was settled – tonight we would get the real deal, schnitzel cooked the proper German way.

As our chef for the evening set about preparing the ingredients we (rather helpfully) set about drinking wine and thinking of names for a schnitzel restaurant.  The one that stuck was ‘If it fits we Schitz’, a concept eatery where customers bring any ingredient they want to eat, and if its fits in our fryer we’ll schnitz it up for them.  This was also when I believe the verb to schnitz was introduced into the English and German vocabulary.

Now, this is an incredibly simple recipe basically involving bashing, coating and cooking but I thought I’d take you through the 8 taste-bud-tantalising steps in case, like me, you find cooking to be a task equivalent to open heart surgery.

Ingredients: Serves 4 (measurements are approx. – a lot of wine had been consumed by the time we started cooking, my bad).

8 Pork fillets (we also schnitz’d up some thick slices of aubergine, perfect for any veggies!)

300 grams Bread crumbs

6 Eggs

Oil

2-4 Lemons

1 bottle red wine

Some beers

NB: If you don’t already own a meat hammer of some variety, you’re going to need to get yourself one.

Step 1:  Hammer the meat to within an inch of its life.  Well kind of.  Meat hammers typically have one spiked and one flat head; to tenderise the meat you need to break up the muscle fibres with the spiky side then gently bash the cutlet with the other to flatten it out.

Step 2: Crack open a beer.  All that hammering is thirsty work so grab yourself a refreshing brewski.

Step 3: Prepare to double dip.  Beat the eggs and pour these into a shallow dish.  Spread the bread crumbs out in another.  Take your pummelled meat and dip it into the egg ensuring it is thoroughly slimy or rather, coated.  Next you’ll want to give this slippery fillet a liberal coating of bread crumbs.

Step 4: One you’ve dipped and coated the pork you’ll need to prepare your fryer.  Pour just less than half a centimetre of oil into a frying pan and heat until it’s erm, pretty hot.

Step 5: With things heating up in here, it’s probably time for another cold beer.

Step 6: FRY THOSE SUCKERS!  Carefully (tongs can be quite useful here) place your bashed and breaded meat into the fryer and cook on both sides until golden brown.

Step 7: Serve – schnitzel is typically served up with a hearty helping of roasted potatoes and a fresh green salad helps to combat the oily-ness.  We added a side of red wine as well – though if there are any beers left they will do just nicely.

Step 8: Tuck in! – but not before adding a liberal squeeze of lemon juice to your schnitzel.